Plus Size Dating.. is it crystal clear??

The  heterosexual girls with thunder thighs, saggy breasts, flabby arms, huge rounded bellies and back fat: dating has never been an easy stroll in the park.. We have been bashed and have become insecure. We have become cautious. We have come out of relationships with people who felt they could become certified personal trainers/ dietitians based on our bodies. We have survived people with big girl fetishes. We have asked ourselves if we are so unlucky in love. Sometimes we have fallen out of love and never wished to go back at it again. We have taken the blame and thought maybe we the ones sending the wrong signals. Are we that ugly such that we always attracting the wrong undesirable men.No girl double check the history it was never your fault.

For some reason people don't want to admit they like big girls (I know they will say I am speculating). But they be busy in our social media DMs and oh yes those porn videos with lots of views feature in a plus size woman.

I for one have found myself seeking older partners seeking the maturity which I am not seeing in the younger generation which is still caught up in a frenzy and would be happy to keep the relationship a secret. Now that I got personal I just remembered how my heart was once crushed. Remember I was young,naive and ready to enjoy my youth.(So I thought). 

There was this guy whose looks and charisma swept me off my feet. I couldn't believe it when he showed interest in me  but to my surprise kept our relationship extremely private. I had to endure that he  would go about  lying to everyone that he’d never been interested or attracted to me. It practically became a short-lived hookup that left  me feeling down trodden and feeling like absolute trash. Can you believe it after I had put effort into mending our 'nonexistent' relationship on Valentine's day, 2 days later he announced his official girl on her birthday because the world had to know how sweet he could be . boy, the magnitude of the pain and embarrassment on my side was immeasurable. My brain ceased functioning. How and why became the key questions. The last time we met he had convinced me we are mending things. So all my messages and call register were being deleted? The sheer embarrassment was too much to bear. So is my best friend also laughing with the rest of the people, I ponder. I can't seem to forget the shame of this. However as time progresses I look back and see how pathetic this lover of mine was(is). This all goes back to what he thought of me as a plus size lady. He saw me, as if I’m the impulse purchase you took for a spin with joy one day and completely regretted the next. He thought he was dating me just because of his leniency and I would always be the soft forgiving Thickums ( Big girls got big hearts right😉). 

As if such ordeals ain't enough there comes Mr Big Girl fetish.His idea of love is lust. Lusting on those curves, humps and rolls because he says nobody wants steak full of bones?. He lacks the love I am looking for but I string along because he doesn't hide me. He kisses me in public, he carries my handbag , he holds my hand and waist as we stroll in the busy streets. I am elated. Not by love bt the public display of affection. Once again Lathickums you have lost the dating fight. 

By the way, I dropped the dietitians and personal trainers  in my circle in my late teens.

I have been single for the longest time I can remember because I decided next time I am at it again I want to be in it with the right person and for the right reasons.i deserve better.