Chubby reflections. Jumbled thoughts

So Donatella Versace has for the first time included three plus size models in her troupe. What a time to be alive in the year of covid!!!!.  Fenty also had my huge heart leaping. The different bodies well represented for both genders. Lizzo is a part of it too. Finally things are taking shape right. But my huge heart hurts. I have always wanted to be a model . I have never felt confident. As I write this I am reflecting on one of the opportunities I let pass by. I chickened out. I thought I wouldn't be enough and competitive. I thought my curves, humps and ridges wouldn't be really sexy  strutting/ posing in a bikini. 
There is this inner voice that asked me:How could I make it without even trying. Why was I chickening out but what will people think of me became my everyday answer. As an individual I thought I was confident. I used to  be a public speaker for Christ sake. I have always loved the camera ( much to the annoyance to my boyfriend😊).   I felt plus size would be ridiculed and called names for pursuing what I love best. Of course I ain't no runway type(I would say to myself).
Is my cellulite unusual. Is my thick behind unflattering. My mind is in circles. Then I gathered strength to approach a modelling agency but I turned out to be unsure of what I wanted to be. I couldn't even pose for the portfolio can you believe it? I was too modest. I was still thinking about how the society is going to react if they were to see the images of a fat girl doing the rounds. It all goes back into the vicious cycle of man made yardsticks.
 Now I am glad. I am officially a plus size model taking up space. To be precise I am a thick bikini model. After a whole two decades and a half I am super comfy in my skin. I have also done the trending milk bath shoot. I stand in awe of this beautiful girl. I  am impressed.
I am nolonger slave to fear.  Oh yah I did it.. Enough of jumbled up thoughts. Always put things in action.. if I had pursued this dream of mine six years back I wouldn't be having so much regrets. For today I am just going to lie down in this milk bath and keep myself rejuvinated , focusing on what lies ahead ❤️❤️


I am a size 14. Unapologetic Blogger. Savage lingerie model.

Comments

  1. Jali6 October 2020 at 11:22

    Well done, people should learn to embrace who they are , being authentic and comfortable in your skin is admirable hence more black diamond hard to find..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown6 October 2020 at 11:37

    I love how your loving your body,it gives courage to those in doubt...great work. 😚

    ReplyDelete
  3. rockn' e teen scene!6 October 2020 at 12:49

    Flaunt what you got!
    Take up space, the world is your oyster!
    Let the world know that thick is beautiful and has always been?
    Cheers to seeing you on billboards!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Therealkat289 October 2020 at 09:15

    Self love maSee👌🏾👌🏾👏🏽👏🏽

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kelka9 October 2020 at 19:20

    I heard that fresh juice is good for our body, but.. Gosh, how much you've been drinking it?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kelka9 October 2020 at 19:22

    That confidence looks sexy on you, and I think people should be confident with the way they look

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown9 October 2020 at 22:00

    If confidence was i person it would be u my darling sweet thang , go for it at any given day . The voice to the voiceless. 😘😘😘

    ReplyDelete

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